Room at my Table

A Story of Generosity In Unlikely Circumstances

One day in the winter of 2012 I was out on patrol with an infantry unit in southern Afghanistan. The sun was low in the sky and the air was cold. The ploughed fields were crusty with frost, which crunched under our boots as we slowly made our way over them. We scanned the ground at our feet, the near distance and far distance repeatedly, vigilant and aware, looking for signs of hidden explosive devices or ready for the crack and thump of enemy gun fire. Our breath fogged the air, and our fingers felt numb against the cold metal of our rifles, but our heavy kit meant we were still sweating. The day was much like any other.

I was up near the front of the patrol, and because I speak the local language, I would often do the meeting and greeting if we bumped into locals. Up ahead a farmer was working on his thin strip of land with a few other men, his brothers probably, and a lot of children running around.

The men were old, perhaps. It’s hard to tell. Life is tough for a Helmandi farmer. Just because your face is deeply lined and you have very few teeth, doesn’t necessarily mean you’re over 40. When they saw us they paused in their work. One removed his turban and wiped his brow.

He shouted a greeting, “As-Salaam-Alaikum”

Our Officer responded, “Wa-Alaikum-Salaam”. I took over from here.

The men invited us to sit with them for a chat. One of them spread out his patu, a large woollen piece of material which is variously used as a shawl, scarf, bag and blanket. While most of the soldiers moved out in a wide circle facing outwards (for protection), a few key members of the patrol sat down on or near the patu. A child was sent running away to bring chai (tea) and sweets while we chatted about. There was much beard stroking and hand rubbing. We soldiers uncomfortably shifted our weight on the ground. It’s difficult trying to sit cross-legged as an adult under normal circumstances, but just try doing it in body armour!

The child returned with a tray, and others followed with small glasses (Afghans don’t drink out of mugs), some flasks of green tea and plastic boxes containing boiled sweets. We’d not been talking long when one of the farmers dropped a bombshell, figuratively speaking.

“These cups, this tea, these sweets,” he gestured with his hand and paused, “…yesterday we were drinking with the Taliban.” Instinctively I looked to the horizon, and pressed my ear piece closer to my head to hear what the soldiers were saying on the net. He went on, “Yesterday we were hosting the Taliban, today we host you. Melmastia.”

Melmastia is the Pashtu word for hospitality. It’s not just a word though, it’s a code of conduct. It’s a virtue ingrained into the Pashtun tribal psyche that is a point of deep honour. It requires the host to offer hospitality to any stranger, offered for free and without expectation of reciprocity. Or in other words, you’re offered a cuppa no matter who you are, even if you can’t return the favour. I was intrigued and delighted by this, even if it did make me feel very uncomfortable that the enemy had been sitting here only a day before. I’d had enough encounters with the enemy by now to want to avoid crossing of paths, even if it was over a brew.

A little while later, after I became a Christian, I read a passage from Luke’s Gospel (14:12-14) and it reminded me of this exact moment. Jesus is talking to a Pharisee, in whose house he is dining, about hospitality.

¹² Then Jesus said to his host, “When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbours; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. ¹³ But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, ¹⁴ and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”

It seems to me that the themes of hospitality and generosity are very much linked. Because generosity isn’t just kindness, it’s above and beyond that. It’s more. It’s extra. And hospitality isn’t just meeting your guests’ needs, it’s making them feel welcome, giving them your best, getting out the fancy crockery. And clearly, to Jesus, who those guests are, requires thought and attention too. Jesus tells us not just to invite our friends and family but to think of those who don’t normally get invited. Just like the Pashtun tribe, hospitality is for everyone, even your enemies.

At the Lord’s Table, and by that I’m specifically talking about the altar when we receive communion, we are told we are all welcome. And this welcome isn’t merely about extending hospitality to strangers. What’s special about God’s invitation to His Table is that we’ve done nothing to deserve it, and can never do anything to deserve it. We acknowledge that we are the poor, the lame, the blind, the ones with complicated lives full of mistakes that Jesus is making right. Everybody is welcome to dine with Christ. His generosity extends to all of us because Jesus died for our sake, the ultimate gift.

There are people in our communities, perhaps on our street, who are lonely, who are poor, who don’t know they are loved or special, who are even homeless. I wonder if we could give the gift of hospitality, melmastia. Because the challenge for us Christians is…well, to be Christ-like. So who is welcome at our table? Put another way, who do we not extend hospitality to and why? What if we tried to think of our own table as the Lord’s Table, and to share with others as the Lord shares with us? Could we do something very generous, and find room for one more person at our table this Christmas. I wonder who that person could be.

Get involved: Community Christmas and Contact the Elderly and Campaign to End Loneliness

BEFORE YOU GO! You are very welcome (and indeed encouraged!) to use these articles in parish magazines, to hand out at the end of your service as A4 sheets or to use as content for Home Groups etc. Please cite the website so others can find their way here, and have a very Merry Christmas. 

Meet the Team

The Founder:

Name-    Rachael Phillips
Job-         Generous Giving Project Officer
Home-    Born and raised in Darlington. Studied at Teesside University and Durham University (so I’m a proper northerner).
Faith-      Fairly new Christian. My conversion happened in Afghanistan.
Credentials-   Before this job I spent 13 years serving in the British Army, as a Royal Engineers Officer, but most of my career was in non-engineering roles. In Afghanistan, Bosnia, Denmark, Austria and the UK, I was mostly employed in community support type roles (short video). I’m also a linguist… (start this video at 2mins 32 secs)

I love to chat, and luckily in the Army I got the chance to do lots of it. Talking with and listening to the ordinary people who lived near the military bases in which I’ve served, was part of my job. I’ve acted as a mediator, negotiator, sign poster, meetings organiser, project planner, bridge builder -metaphorically and literally- communications facilitator and even interpreter (I speak Pashto, Bosnian/ Croatian/ Serbian/ Montenegrin, French, German and Spanish).

Faith-wise, it’s all rather new. I had no interest in or even belief in God when I became an adult, despite having been baptised and taken to Sunday School as a child. So it was a surprise to meet God in Afghanistan and to become a Christian there.

Even though for most of my adult life, I’d lived in religious communities abroad, and had been surrounded by faithful Muslims, living out their religion in all aspects of their daily routine, I was never inspired to question who God might be to me, until a completely out of the blue experience in a shipping container in Helmand Province, Afghanistan. That story is here. You can read what I’ve written about being new to faith, the church and trying to understand my calling on my personal blog here, but suffice to say, having my eyes opened to the wonder of God…well it was a bit of a shock!

My faith has grown daily since that experience, and later, on the night when I came to be confirmed, I felt I heard clearly that God was calling me to something specific. Since then I have been exploring if this might be Ordained Ministry. To try and work this out, I left my job in the Army and returned home to the North East to study theology at Cranmer Hall, Durham University, for a year, alongside people who are training to be ordained ministers. And then I got this job, which puts me right in at the deep end, exactly where I like to be!

I hope to bring all that I’ve experienced and learned to this role (making the most of my project management and people skills, but not really drawing too much from my combat skills!), to encourage and inspire my fellow Christians in the Diocese. I am learning more about the Church and God every single day and am very excited to be doing this whilst serving you, and You.

Rachael continues to serve the Diocese of Durham in a new capacity as Mission Support Partner

The Editor

Name-    Reverend Tom Brazier
Job-         Rector of Greenside Parish
Home-    Speaks with a South African accent but is British by birth. Eats both biltong and corned beef hash.
Faith-      Ordained Minister so lots of faith.
Credentials-  Writing about anything related to Christian faith can be a real minefield because Christians hold so many different views. The author of these articles is still a fairly new Christian and mistakes can easily be made. [Ed: just the odd little one here and there – but my lips are sealed.] Rev. Tom Brazier was brought on board to check that the first article was theologically sound and heresy free and we haven’t been able to get rid of him since. [Ed: reword last phrase, please.] Tom was also part of the conception of the Generous Giving Project, which differs quite significantly from a traditional stewardship advisor’s role…

Being the editor gives Tom free reign [Ed: “free rein”] to be a huge grammar pedant [Ed: it’s not just grammar, I’m more of a jack-of-all-trades pedant], a character trait that is suppressed in ordinary pastoral life. Tom enjoys the challenge of receiving the unpolished musings of his protégé, and carefully deleting bits and suggesting amendments so as to craft them into palatable articles for the wider audience.

Tom is passionate about church giving because, he says, “giving is so closely linked to spiritual health and I love to see churches flourishing.” He also loves the idea of being part of something much bigger than ourselves and bigger than our local church.

Tom was ordained in 2012 after training at Cranmer Hall, and served his curacy at Holy Trinity Washington. Before Tom wore a dog collar he had a very different life. He grew up in South Africa, and after studying science at university, he worked as a software engineer developing training simulators to help train the cavalry to operate tanks. [Ed: which swords I now would like to see repurposed as ploughshares. We also developed simulators for gigantic mining vehicles.]

After marrying Julie, the pair decided to take a few years out and to do some travelling, before returning home and getting on with their lives, but this short trip to Europe turned into a much longer trip indeed. Tom got a series of jobs working in London for a failing dotcom company, a not-failing investment bank and a motion picture special effects company. Using his extensive analytical skills honed in the simulator development industry, Tom lived and worked in London for 9 years, worshipping at St Simon’s in Shepherd’s Bush before the calling to ordained ministry became one he couldn’t ignore. [Ed: good word “honed” – make a note to use it again somewhere.]

Whilst training in Durham, he fell in love with the North East and decided to stay, which is just as well, as otherwise the communities of Greenside Parish would be without their vicar and the Generous Giving Project would churn out all kinds of nonsense. [Ed: again, my lips are sealed.]

His personal blog is here.

Finances Resources Co-ordinator

A few of months ago, a great thing happened. Samantha Lee joined forces with the Generous Giving Project to make up 2/3 of this three person team (our third and final member will be introduced next). Samantha is the Finance Resources Co-ordinator, and we’ll start by finding out what that’s about.

Sam, in a nutshell, what’s your job? I’m here to support local churches and treasurers to better manage their finances. If a treasurer has a question or problem, they can contact me and we’ll work through a solution. If a new treasurer needs help, or a church is hoping to encourage someone inexperienced to take on that role, I can help make it really simple and clear. And I’m also supporting treasurers by rolling out the Parish Giving Scheme, which helps churches with their cash-flow and brings us into the 21^st Century with how we manage our giving.

You seem to know a lot about treasurers. Is this a particular interest of yours? Well, I am one! I’ve been serving my local church in this diocese as a treasurer for 3 years so I know the job inside out. I know what a difference treasurers make to the church and honestly feel blessed to do it.

It sounds like you’ll be able to easily empathise with treasurers “at the coal face”. I know as well as any treasurer, that sometimes the reality of church administration and finance roles can be demanding. Everyone assumes you’re the expert and it’s not always the case! Plus I’m a local girl so I understand church-life in the North East.

What’s the best thing about being a church treasurer? I like the fact I’m part of an on-going story, dating back literally thousands of years. Our generation benefits from the generosity and commitment of previous generations in ‘keeping the faith’ in ensuring a Christian presence in our local communities. And I’m part of this generation taking the church forward. It’s something that we continue to give thanks for.

I’ve not known you long, but long enough to know you love a spreadsheet. Would you say admin is your thing? Yes! I actually think being good at administration is a God-given gift. I see it as my spiritual gift. It’s what I bring to the church. And that’s really important.

Administration is key within every church to turn God-given vision into reality.

Go on… Well in Acts 6, the early church leaders decided that practical help was needed so that the church could serve God properly. Seven people were appointed to focus on administration, whilst others focussed on other areas of ministry, like prayer and preaching. Good administration and handling the books is what enables visionary leaders’ big ideas to be put into practice.

So it’s part of stewardship? Absolutely. Not just so we have cash-flow, but also being efficient in our administration is key to ensuring our time is spent well too. We need to be good stewards of our time just as much as our money.

Have you always been into administration? Is this a theme in your work-life? I’d say so. Before I worked for Durham Diocese I was an internal auditor. I provided business consultancy services and assurance for a range of third sector (not-for-profit) organisations.

What did you like about being an auditor? As an auditor, you’re a fresh pair of eyes. You’ve got an independent view on things. I liked being able to spot efficiency savings when organisations were bogged down in the day to day. I could make a difference. I’m naturally resourceful and I like problem solving. Oh and I’m pretty hardworking. I get very focussed on the task in hand until it’s sorted.

Thanks, Sam. I’m delighted we’re working together, and you can make sense of all the statistics and spreadsheets and numbers that sit just beyond my comfort zone. You’re a massive asset to the team.

Parish Giving Champion

Nathan, you’re not from these parts are you? Can you share with our readers where you’re from and what drew you to the wonderful north? Are you sitting comfortably?! I was actually born in the South East, but then I spent the first three years of my life in India with my missionary parents. We returned to the UK in the mid-1980s and I spent my entire childhood and teenage years attending a vibrant Pentecostal Church on the outskirts of South East London.

Wow, you’ll have to tell us more about your missionary parents some time. So after school what did you do? I spent three years at Bible College, and graduated with a degree in Theology. After that my wife and I moved back to the South East and became Youth Pastors in our home church for three years until God led us to move north in 2006 to plant a church in Middlesborough.

Not your typical start to Christian life then. Planting a church must have been such an experience. It was, but after seven years of hard work leading that church we felt it was the right time to hand it over to another couple to lead, and we and moved even further north to Gateshead. Up there we play a key role in our local church, Hillsong Church, Newcastle.

So you’ve got lots of experience of the challenges of growing churches and working with local communities. Very handy. Have you ever worked outside the church? I have indeed. Before taking this job with Durham Diocese, I worked for the North East Autism Society in their new Employment Futures service. I was helping people on the autistic spectrum to find employment or meaningful work experience.

Do you think you’ll be able to use these experiences too? Absolutely. I see my role here as being largely defined by the needs of each Parish I have the opportunity to work with, so definitely using my listening skills and hands-on community work. I’ll be listening to their needs and goals and we’ll work on a plan together. It’ll be tailored support for each church. For some it may be that my input at a PCC level that’s required. Others may need assistance with planning a medium-term Stewardship campaign. I’ve also done a lot of public speaking so I’d like to use these skills too.

What are you most looking forward to in your role as Parish Giving Champion? Well there’s one thing I’m really passionate about, and that’s helping people to have financial freedom. I want to help churches to provide avenues to financial freedom and for individuals to be released from debt. I want churches to not just focus on what they get on the Offering Plate, but to look beyond at the things that may be holding people back. Personal debt is a big problem and I think the church can really help with that. I’d like to support more of our churches in hosting courses on financial freedom.

It sounds like you’ll be out and about a lot. I hope so! I am not a big fan of office-based work so I’m keen to get around and help as many Parishes as possible in a focussed and intentional way. A big part of how I will measure my own success will be based on how much time I’m not at Cuthbert House!

If you’d like to contact Nathan and find out about the interesting and diverse ways he could support your church please email him at nathan.bruce@durham.anglican.org 

 

What’s Going On In Church?

A lot happens in church that goes completely over my head. When I started attending a couple of years ago I was amazed at how strange it all was. Interesting rituals were taking place that everybody but me seemed to understand.

I became a Christian in Afghanistan and for my first 9 months I worshipped in tents in Army outposts in Helmand Province. Sometimes church was cancelled because the chaplain’s convoy got attacked or diverted. Sometimes I missed a service because I was out on patrol. At least out there I didn’t need to know anything about being an Anglican. I’m not sure I even knew that the word Anglican meant Church of England. I thought it was a window fitting company.

Does anyone else feel like me? Do you know your chasubles from your chancel? Do you know your charismatics from your cloisters? New Christians have a lot to learn. It’s a completely new vocabulary that often leaves us nodding along and smiling whilst inside wondering ‘Why does the colour of the vicar’s scarf keep changing?’

Just when I thought I’d got it, I realised that Anglo-Catholics have an entirely different vocabulary to Evangelicals and was back to square one. So I bought a Matt Redman CD, dug out my church dictionary, and began dropping in the word “fellowship” to sentences whenever I felt the urge.

But what if it’s not just new Christians who don’t always know what’s going on in church? Might there be people in our parishes who’ve been members of church for decades but couldn’t explain why we stand for the Gospel reading, why we do ‘the Peace’ or why the font is at the entrance of the church? Probably. And does anyone really understand what the offering is all about? This is a question I’ve been pondering myself.

Until quite recently, I had no idea that the money I put on the collection plate had anything to do with faith. I thought it was a bit like paying subs. It never occurred to me that I was taking part in an act of worship. Maybe that’s because in all the churches I’ve worshipped in, and that’s a lot as I travelled a lot in the army, this part of the service was…a bit…rushed? Awkward? Forgotten about?

I didn’t know that what I was actually doing when I fished around for the loose change in my handbag, was presenting to God a gift that said both ‘Thank you’ and ‘I love you’.

Then I realised that every week I’d been hearing a prayer which was key to this part of the service, but I’d never noticed:

“Yours, Lord, is the greatness, the power, the glory, the splendour, and the majesty; for everything in heaven and on earth is yours. All things come from you, and of your own do we give you.”

Maybe I wasn’t concentrating, or I’d put it in the ‘don’t understand’ pile (with all the other new things that I was learning). But those words “All things come from you and of your own do we give you.” It was a spiritual act. It was about faith. The offertory was an act of worship and I’d missed it.

Then, to my great confusion, I learned that not everyone calls it the offertory. Some call it the offering and some say collection. These differences reflect the different traditions and ways Christians worship. This variety is wonderful, but it can be confusing! For example some say the offertory is the moment in the service when we are simply presenting our gifts of money, which represents us (the offering of ourselves) to be used for the Kingdom of God.

There’s a direct link between what I give, and the continuing work of the Church. This works for me, as I think everybody should have the chance to hear about God’s love and who Jesus is. It makes sense, especially when I think of why we pay Parish Share.

And some believe that when the offering is brought up with the elements (bread and wine), it represents the idea of us sacrificing what we have, as during Holy Communion (the Eucharist) we remember that Jesus sacrificed everything for us.

No doubt, even within these two ends of the spectrum there will be Christians who hold different views. To try and simplify it, so as far as I can tell, some see the offering as an offering of themselves, and others see it as our response to Jesus’ sacrifice. And no doubt many think it’s a bit of both, and perhaps many more (like me until recently) haven’t ever really considered its representation at all.

So what does it mean to you? Is our offering an acknowledgement of all that God has generously and freely given us? Are we offering ourselves on the plate for God’s work? Is our money offering more about the sacrifice we’ve made, as we lead on to the Eucharist and remember everything Jesus sacrificed for us? Or is it something else? What does this act of worship mean to us?

As for me, what changed my mind about the offering, was the sacrifice bit. That’s what converted my giving habits.

When I paused and reminded myself that Jesus literally gave up his life for me, (I often have to do this), I felt ashamed when I thought of my own offering. That’s a strong word but it’s exactly how I felt. A slightly older and much wiser Christian friend assured me that God isn’t into the shame game. He just loves me and always desires the best for me.

That’s comforting, but nonetheless, my attitude changed and I started thinking differently about my offering. It was not generous, was not a sacrifice, was not a representation of how grateful I am, or how I love Jesus. What I’d been giving before was an amount that could easily get lost in my untidy handbag. Since deciding to give generously I actually feel that I’m taking part in an act of worship, rather than paying subs. Now what I give is part of my relationship with God. It’s saying ‘Thank you’ and ‘I love you’.

BEFORE YOU GO! You are very welcome (and indeed encouraged!) to use these blogs in parish magazines or as content for Home Groups etc. Please cite the website so others can find their way here. 

God in the North East

I recently learned the meaning of Emmanuel. It means God with us. It’s one of Jesus’ many, many nicknames, and is quite possibly my favourite. Emmanuel. God with us. Sometimes I need reminding that God is with us here in our communities in the North East of England. Is it just me that sometimes wonders why God would bother with us or remember us or find time for us, not just in this location, but in this time? 2016 seems such a long time after Jesus ascended into Heaven. And yet… Emmanuel.

Sometimes when I read the Bible I feel God clearly in the story. The hairs on my arms stand up with the power of the message. This happened recently when I heard the story of the Good Samaritan, which though I’ve heard dozens of times before, still gave me Goosebumps.

But at other times when I read the Bible I feel completely lost. I don’t understand the significance or the context. I struggle to imagine how the story could be useful to my life. I wonder ‘How does that show me God’s presence today?’

Does anyone else feel like this? On days like that, I find hearing true stories from people who are alive today are just what I need. Emmanuel. God with us.

My generosity story- Ian Davies, Whitburn Church, Tyne and Wear
We married at 20, and had a child within a year. Money was very tight, and it was a struggle to get to payday, especially after the second baby was born. If the children needed shoes, then food went short. I remember one Saturday morning when Sheila and I decided that prayer was our only hope. We still had a week to go until my wage was paid, with no food left in the house and no money to pay for it, and I was walking six miles a day to work to save bus-fares.

We had simply asked God to help us as we were in a mess, and we needed food for the children. Within the hour, a knock came to the door, and a man I knew from my previous job asked if we could help him out. His wife had been ill, and he had done the weekly shop, then taken it home to find his wife had already done it. So he called to ask if we might be able to use what he had bought. I can still see the vacuum-packed bacon sitting on top of the box; a touch of luxury that could never afford. It kick-started us on a journey of prayer and intercession and thanksgiving, and trying to share. We are grateful to God, and an old man who showed us unexpected and undeserved generosity.

Meeting a Deadline- St George’s, Fatfield, Washington
Our church has had all sorts of problems with HMRC and Gift Aid and we were still waiting for it to be resolved when the deadline for paying Parish Share was approaching. We were short by thousands of pounds and didn’t think the tax office would pay us in time. We prayed about it and out of no-where we received a legacy donation from a parishioner who had moved away years ago. She left us more than enough to allow us to meet our pledge, and provide finance to begin exploring the vision God has given us to develop our building.

Stranger at a Station- Ehsan is helped by a Guardian Angel
Ehsan is from Afghanistan, a country that does not have the same laws or justice systems as the UK, by any stretch of the imagination. Persecuted and due to be hung in his home country, he fled to save his life. Incredibly, he completed an endurance walk few of us could imagine, and made it to Italy after walking through half of Europe. He’d made up his mind to come to the UK where he felt he would be safe and could seek asylum. He arrived in Italy destitute, frightened and very alone. There he lived a very difficult life, desperately trying to earn enough to travel to the UK. In time, he had made enough euros to buy train ticket to Calais to cross the Channel. But he’d miscalculated. At the station the train guard told him he was roughly €20 short, but Ehsan didn’t understand due to the language barrier and was very distressed. A woman overheard. Looking at Ehsan she could see he was in a real state and felt such pity for him.

Something moved her to act with love and generosity. She took out enough money to meet the cost so he could purchase his ticket. Then, she bought a ticket for herself, so she could sit next to him. The stranger’s generosity didn’t end there. The train didn’t leave for a while, so she took him into town and bought him a new set of clothes and paid for him to shower, have a haircut, and shave. After the difficulties he had already faced on that journey to Italy, can you imagine how good a shower must have felt?

She then travelled with him to Paris and got him to the correct station to get the train to Calais. The Italian lady took him to the correct seat on the train and spoke to the passenger sitting in next seat. She instructed him to look after the Afghan man and then she departed, leaving no name or contact details. Ehsan knew he could never repay her. He told a colleague of mine, all he knew from the cross on a necklace that she was wearing, was that she had been his ‘Christian guardian angel’ who had helped him to freedom.

God, help us to see generosity around us, to look for ways of being generous to the people we meet, and to reflect your perfect generosity in our own lives. Thank you for all that you give us Lord. Amen

BEFORE YOU GO! You are very welcome (and indeed encouraged!) to use these blogs in parish magazines or as content for Home Groups etc. Please cite the website so others can find their way here. 

Don’t Mention The ‘M’ Word

I feel I can speak with confidence about how much people hate talking about money because I’m in that boat too.

A few weeks ago I had a leak in the bathroom. After the plumber had finished, he showed me what he’d done and we walked downstairs.

Then came the inevitable and extremely awkward bit. Stalling for time, I asked if he wanted another cup of tea. He had his tool bag in his hands and was ready for home, but thankfully he said yes. We talked and talked. Ten minutes passed. I hoped my husband would come home soon so he could deal with the situation. He didn’t. It was up to me. Conversation had run dry and he said ‘Right’ as he stood up, which of course means ‘I’m off’. So I had to do it. We had to talk about money. It seemed vulgar and rude, but he had to be paid for his work. I didn’t want to use the ‘m’ word, so I opted for ‘So… what’ll it be?’ and I made a smiley face and raised my eyebrows which I hoped would hide my embarrassment, but it probably didn’t. He told me the amount, and I paid him, and it was all over. Phew.

We don’t have a problem with paying for things in Britain. But we do have a problem with talking about it.

When I was in the Army and working in Afghanistan, I learned that when people introduced themselves, one of the first questions a stranger will be asked after ‘what do you do?’ is ‘what do you earn?’

In Afghanistan it is a perfectly legitimate question, and no-one feels shy about it. It’s like asking someone their height. Here in Britain we don’t discuss our income with our friends and often not even with our family.

We can feel awkward about money in church too. I’ve felt really embarrassed in churches before. Once I visited a church for the first time and the collection plate was at the back, and I missed it altogether. I’d given nothing! Another time I was at Salisbury Cathedral and had given all the money I was carrying during the offertory. After the service, when I was at the front of the queue to get coffee, I realised that I couldn’t contribute, so I left the queue empty handed because I couldn’t bear not contributing (or having to explain myself).

These examples are silly but true. I’ve since been told that the church is a place of grace and love and no-one would have judged me at all. This is true. The problem didn’t lie with other people. It was all my own embarrassment about money.

Why is it embarrassing? Some people don’t like talking about money because they don’t have much of it. Other people don’t like talking about money because they have too much of it. Whatever the reason, there’s something within us that makes the topic of money something we want to avoid at all costs.

The thing is, if we are going to respond to God’s love by giving, which is what we are called to do, then we have to face it. We have to talk about money. Why? Well contributing money (however much) to our church funds helps our parish church to continue its work. We give money to our church because God loves us and we want to share that message of love with our neighbour. It seems simple enough, but the act of handing over money or talking about handing over money or even thinking about having to talk about handing over money…. Makes us pretty uncomfortable.

Jesus spoke about money 33 times in the gospels. Maybe we could learn something from that. If we’re going to make a change, if we’re going to see our churches and communities transformed by God’s love and generosity then we have to say it: MONEY MONEY MONEY.

Imagine if we could embrace conversations about money. I wonder how it would make our vicars feel when preaching about money if they knew we weren’t squirming in our seats. I’d love to see the look on your vicar’s face if, next time you saw them, you told them you’re ready to talk about money…

Next time you walk into church, look around and feel blessed that it exists for you and your community because of the money (donations big or small) you and generations before you have given. Next time you are praying, pray for the people in your Parish, that they may feel peace when talking about money, and to those whose lives are a struggle because they feel they don’t have enough, or they are embarrassed about having too much.

God thank you for loving me and for all the gifts you give me. You give freely, without condition, and without embarrassment. You do not hold back. Please teach me to follow your ways. Forgive my embarrassment God; please don’t let it get in the way of my giving. I am like a child, O Lord, and I need direction and strength. I pray you will fill my heart with your Holy Spirit, and enable me to talk about money with grace. Amen

Top photo by Edward McGowan

BEFORE YOU GO! You are very welcome (and indeed encouraged!) to use these blogs in parish magazines or as content for Home Groups etc. Please cite the website so others can find their way here. 

Let me introduce myself

Hello and welcome to the Generous Giving Project!

Here’s some background on the story so far.

The Generous Giving Project was launched in April 2016 to help explore why giving generously is a central part of our Christian faith, and to encourage us all as we take part in it. I have been appointed to run this project for two years, and in that time I will support you in every way I can, whether you are reading this as a clergy person or a lay person.

In a nutshell this is about us understanding God’s generosity and considering how we are called to respond as individuals and as a church. It’s about what part generosity plays in our lives and in our worship, and maybe looking at this area of discipleship anew, because, as you may already be able to tell… this isn’t a traditional stewardship campaign!

I’m supporting churches in practical ways by providing really easy to use, innovative and adaptable resources, by writing articles for church magazines and websites, by running workshops and delivering presentations to groups, committees and clubs and by being here ready to answer your queries or signpost you to an expert if I can’t answer your question myself.

I’m very excited to be serving the Diocese of Durham in this way, and to see how the Generous Giving Project will change the way we think about this key expression of our faith. I want to share some personal stories of how my own life has been transformed by God’s generosity, especially how my own approach to giving has changed since I heard about this project. I also think it’s important for you to know who I am, as I intend to interact with as many of you as possible!

I write blogs on all aspects of giving generously, including practical hints and tips for your churches, unpacking the Biblical reasons for our giving, and sharing stories about hospitality, prayer, money, generosity and faith from around the world.

For more information on my background and how I ended up here, please CLICK

If you have a story of generosity you’d like to share, you can contact me at Rachael.phillips@durham.anglican.org

With many blessings,

Rachael, the Generous Giving Project Officer